Friday, October 17, 2008

Get Your Spank On!

Okay, I just got back from a parent-ed class that I take the kids to once a week. Somehow the topic of spanking came up and all the mom's had this mortified attitude that any mom could ever spank her child. The teacher asks, "is it ever okay to spank?" I've decided that I'm not going to be the mom that sits back and not say anything when I don't agree with something. (this was sparked by the conversation we had in another class when the teacher stated that masturbation was normal in childhood. I disagreed and expressed my beliefs about our bodies being special and needing to teach that to our kids. Afterward I had another mom thank me for saying what I said. She said that she didn't feel right about it, but wasn't sure why or how to express this to her kids.) So anyway, I spank, and I'm not ashamed of it. So I said, "it has its place. like when a kid runs out into the street. I want fear and pain to be associated with that action." Then another mom pipes in and says (in a snooty tone), "yeah, but are they afraid of the action or you?" Later she said that kids who are spanked are more aggressive and hit others. It didn't bother me so much that they shared their feelings on the issue, and sometime this can be that cause. I just didn't appreciate them make blanket statements as if this was a definite cause and effect. I can't remember the last time I spanked my kids. I think that's because they have now learned what's right and wrong and I've gotten better as a parent and I don't need it. Time outs are working better and encouraging their positive behavior instead of focusing on the negative is working great! I have the best kids! I just think that spanking has it's place and I guess I'm just wondering if I'm the only one? And, we shouldn't judge others on their parenting skills. Everyone's kids are different, and we all have different methods and are all learning how to best discipline are kids. Before we got married, I told Grant I didn't want to spank and I didn't think it was necessary. Then, we started having kids and we found that sometimes spanking was the only way to help them learn. And no, my kids are not aggressive, they don't hit others, and they are certainly NOT afraid of me! Love to hear your thoughts!

9 comments:

BBC said...

i totally agree with you! of course, we don't have any kids but bill and i both were spanked as kids and feel that it definitely has its place as well! obviously there is a fine line there between spanking and beating, but when done appropriately, i think it's an important was to teach children respect and between right and wrong. way to go for speaking your mind!

Mother Goose said...

I agree 100%! I don't think you should ever spank when you are angry or very often. Just like time-outs, they need to be told what they did wrong and then followed up by a big hug and kiss!

Jami and Scott said...

Stac- You should take over as the teacher of that class, because seriously, what the heck is she teaching??? I agree with you whole-heartedly :)

Bringhursts said...

Oh yes, I was spanked and I was afraid of the action not my parents so I see nothing wrong with it. I don't spank my kids (YET) because time outs seem to work better for them but I agree that every parent/kid is different.

That's awesome you spoke your mind.

macdonald's said...

I'm glad you found my blog. Your kids are so sweet. I bet you are happy to have your own home! How exciting.

I totally agree. I'm glad you spoke up. I think that different methods of discipline work for different personalities as well as the circumstances.

Olivia McCord said...

Amen sister.

Tara Black said...

You are right on! I got spanked as a kid, and I turned out just fine. It for sure has its place. That teacher sounds like a complete moron! :)

Emily said...

spanking definetly has it's place. Like with your child running into the street example. I was spanked and I was never a violent kid. You just have to end every spanking experience with love.

Anonymous said...

My wife and I are true believers in spanking children.
Spank with love. Not a beating in a abusive manner.

William.