Friday, October 17, 2008
Get Your Spank On!
Okay, I just got back from a parent-ed class that I take the kids to once a week. Somehow the topic of spanking came up and all the mom's had this mortified attitude that any mom could ever spank her child. The teacher asks, "is it ever okay to spank?" I've decided that I'm not going to be the mom that sits back and not say anything when I don't agree with something. (this was sparked by the conversation we had in another class when the teacher stated that masturbation was normal in childhood. I disagreed and expressed my beliefs about our bodies being special and needing to teach that to our kids. Afterward I had another mom thank me for saying what I said. She said that she didn't feel right about it, but wasn't sure why or how to express this to her kids.) So anyway, I spank, and I'm not ashamed of it. So I said, "it has its place. like when a kid runs out into the street. I want fear and pain to be associated with that action." Then another mom pipes in and says (in a snooty tone), "yeah, but are they afraid of the action or you?" Later she said that kids who are spanked are more aggressive and hit others. It didn't bother me so much that they shared their feelings on the issue, and sometime this can be that cause. I just didn't appreciate them make blanket statements as if this was a definite cause and effect. I can't remember the last time I spanked my kids. I think that's because they have now learned what's right and wrong and I've gotten better as a parent and I don't need it. Time outs are working better and encouraging their positive behavior instead of focusing on the negative is working great! I have the best kids! I just think that spanking has it's place and I guess I'm just wondering if I'm the only one? And, we shouldn't judge others on their parenting skills. Everyone's kids are different, and we all have different methods and are all learning how to best discipline are kids. Before we got married, I told Grant I didn't want to spank and I didn't think it was necessary. Then, we started having kids and we found that sometimes spanking was the only way to help them learn. And no, my kids are not aggressive, they don't hit others, and they are certainly NOT afraid of me! Love to hear your thoughts!